Get a Grip
by The Heart's Notebook
Summary: One of the very people Hiei strove to protect with his very life is dead. But now that she's gone can Hiei survive without her and can his love put back together his broken heart before Hiei totally loses it? Yaoi
1. Gone From My Heart

**Get a Grip**  
Ch1: Gone from my heart

No it can't possibly be true. The innocent blood in my bloodline couldn't of just vanished. "No... no... NOOOOO!" I scream, slamming my eyes shut to wake up from this nightmare.

"Hiei!" My love rushes to me. I collapse in his embrace and release all the sorrow that I can't hold back any longer, "Shhhhh it's all right." he rubs circles into my back in order to soothe me.

I pound my fists against his chest. NO! No it's not all right; she's gone... she's..." I couldn't finish; it hurt too much.

"I know..." He simply says, feeling the pain that flowed from me and onto his chest.

"She's dead." I stated, every word was a knife cutting deeper and deeper into my already wounded heart.

"I know, I know..." He said, spooning me into his lap and held my trembling body close to his.

"Yukina..."


	2. His Promise

**Get a Grip**  
Ch2: His Promise

We just got back from the funeral. Everybody else was down stairs, but I'm in my room isolating myself from everybody else. I couldn't stand the looks of pity they gave me. That is everbody except... Yukina.

~~knock knock~~~~

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Hiei?" The kitsune wondered. He walked in and closed the door behind him softly. For some reason when I looked him in the eye I felt tears begin to flow. I turned my face away from his view quickly. "Hiei?" Kurama reapeated.

"Everybody's gone?" I asked.

"Yes. Yusuke and Kuwabara went to get take out." He explained shortly. He walked over to the bed and sat down across from me on the bed's edge.I kept moving my face away from his sight. "Hiei?" He moved closer, I moved away, "Hiei why won't you look at me?"

"..." I didn't answer; I couldn't answer without him knowing.

"Hiei please tell me what's wrong." Kurama said.

"You want to know what's wrong? MY SISTER JUST DIED AND YOU HAVE TO ASK WHAT'S WRONG? DAMN IT KURAMA!" I fumed in anger. Kurama stared at me in shock.

"Hiei...I-I didn't..." He tried to speak but failed.

"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T! BECAUSE NONE OF YOU ACTUALLY CARE!" I shouted without knowing why I was.

"Yes we do Hiei. How can you say that?" The kitsune wondered.

"OH YEAH? THAN WHY DID YA'LL JUST IGNORE ME HALF THE DAY AND NOT SAY YOU'RE SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPENED?" I raved.

"..."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." I muttered calming down a little. I looked at Kurama; that was the first I raised my voice at him since I told him I loved him. By the look on his face I could tell I had hurt him, deeply. "I'm sorry Kurama... I didn't mean to shout." I apologized.

"It's all right Hiei." He said looking at me with pain still in his eyes.

"No it's not all right. What's wrong is, I just lost Yukina and afraid I'm going to..." I trailed off; he was going think I was stupid.

"You're afraid you're going to what Hiei?" Kurama pressed

"I'm afraid I'm going to lose you too." I said staring into those emerald eyes that make me nervous and yet calm me at the same time.

"Hiei..." Kurama said. I looked away. He took my chin and forced me to look at him. I directed my eyes away from his, "Hiei look at me," I obeyed. "I swear to you Hiei I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be here for you. I'll always be here until the day you tell me to go away." He vowed.

"Why would you do that?" I asked.

"Because I love you Hiei." He said smiling gently as he leaned in and kissed me with his soft, smooth lips.

"I love you too Kurama." I whispered into the kiss and slowly fell asleep in my lover's tender embrace. "Thank you."

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***sniff* so sweet. Please review. I hope you enjoyed.**


	3. Refusal

**A short ch but i hope u still enjoy Please Review!**

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**Get a Grip**  
Ch3: Refusal

**Kurama's POV**

It's been a month since Yukina's death and Hiei has been getting worse and worse. Most of the time or whenever I can't get him to talk to me he just sits in his room stares off into space or sleeps if he can without being awoken by a nightmare or his tears. But the biggest problem is...

"Hiei?" I call. He just looks at me then looks at what I have in my hands. He looks at it with no emotion then rolls over in the covers on his bed to face the wall and doesn't answer.

"I don't want any." He simply answers in a voice that doesn't even sound like his.

"Please Hiei." I pressed gently trying to keep my voice even. I hated that he was doing this. "Hiei..." I kept my eyes on him for another minute then gave up. I sat it down on the bedside table just incase he changed his mind. Which was less likely. "Please don't do this to me Hiei." I pleaded then left the room, closing the door softly behind me.

...He refuses to eat anything.


	4. Nothing but Black

**Enjoy and review! **

**NOTE: unless it says "Kurama's POV" it's always Hiei's POV**

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**Get a Grip**  
Ch4: Nothing but Black

I saw nothing but black surrounding us, he lied there lifeless, blood dripping everywhere. "Help!" I yell; no response. "Yusuke, Kuwabara! Help! SOMEONE HELP!"

**Kurama's POV**

"SOMEONE HELP!" I heard a voice laced with fear scream.

"Hiei..." I realize then rush up the stairs, down the hall, and into Hiei's room. "Hiei!" He layed in his bed trembling, crying, and screaming. I rush to him, "Hiei, wake up, it's okay."

"*whimper*" Hiei trembled under my touch. In a split second jolted awake and grabbed me by the wrist and panted. "K-Kurama?" I smiled at him gently.

"It's okay Hiei; you're okay, it was just a nightmare." I said soothingly. He looked at me for a second and the next thing I knew Hiei was hugging me around the neck.

"Kurama..." He whispered still shuddering against me.

"It's all right Hiei. I'm here. Tell me what you saw."

"..."

"Hiei, tell me" I said wrapping my arms around him.

"I saw black everywhere..." He began but didn't finish.

"And...?"

"Y-You were dead." He said his voice drenched in fear. I didn't know how to respond. He pulled back to look at me. He kissed me. His tongue begging for entrance, I let him slip it in and our tongues danced together. I pushed him to where his back was against the bed, without even breaking the kiss once. I began to feel his skin on his chest underneath his shirt, and moved down, felt the edge of his pants, I started to unbutton them, but Hiei stopped me. I looked at him; he was afraid.

"I'm sorry Hiei, I didn't mean to scare for you." I said still lying against him.

"It's all right... I want you Kurama don't get me wrong... but..." He said looking at me.

"I understand Hiei. I won't force you if you're not ready." I said stroking his cheek.

"When I'm ready will you...?" He asked kissing my neck lovingly.

"Of course I will. I love you Hiei." I said hugging him.

"I love you too Kurama." I felt him smile against my throat.

Even thought he didn't want to make love we began to make out, "I wonder why he saw black everywhere... does it mean something?"

"Kurama I'm hungry." Hiei said after a while.

I couldn't help but grin a little, "Ok Hiei."


	5. Her Soul Speaks

**Get a Grip  
**Ch5: Her Soul Speaks

"Hiei." A voice called. It was soft, gentle, it was female.

"Yukina?" I breathed into the night.

"Brother." The voice answers.

"Where are you Yukina?" I jolt up in my bed surprisingly not waking up Kurama who was in the bed beside me. (no they didn't do what ya think they did)

"You can't see me, at least not yet Hiei." My sister's voice speaks softly.

"When can I Yukina?"

"you'll be able to see me dear brother; you'll be able to see me when I come back to life."


	6. I don't believe you

**Srry ya'll. I know it's been a while since I updated this story. I've been working on my top two stories so... yeah.**

**Get a Grip**  
Ch6: I don't believe you

"Honest Kurama I heard her." Hiei said as he sat on the couch as Kurama walked back and forth in front of him.

"Hiei there is just no earthly way you could have." Kurama stated logically. Hiei put on his pout face. "You were dreaming Hiei that's the only explanation."

Hiei got mad, "You don't know what I heard. You were asleep so who are you to tell me what I did and did not hear?" Hiei stood up.

"Hiei, there is no way that was Yukina, she's dead." Kurama raised his voice a little.

"Don't you think I know that?" Hiei wondered, "I held her in my arms as she passed, I was there."

"Apparently you don't know if you can't tell reality from imagination! When are you going to get a grip and start acting like an adult? I'm about sick of it! Suck it up Hiei and quit pretending like your dead sister is going to rise from the grave, because she isn't!" Kurama raved.

Hiei kept his head down embarrassed, he was silent as he rubbed one of his arms with the other, he looked up at the kitsune. Kurama looked at him surprised.

Hiei let tears fall, "Why can't you just believe me?" Hiei ran up the stairs.

"Hiei wait, I'm sorry I didn't mean that! Hiei!" Kurama ran after the fire demon, by the time he called the other demon's name again the door to Hiei's room had been slammed shut. "Hiei." Kurama gave up after a third try and went down stairs; Hiei didn't come out of his room for the rest of the day.

**To Be Continued...**

**Again sorry like I said been working on top two stories.**

**Review!**


	7. A crushed heart

**Get a Grip**  
Ch7: A Crushed Heart

I refuse to talk to him. I ignore him. I don't know why he just can't believe me. I know I heard her, "It had to be her." I said as my head rested on the soft pillow beneath me.

There was a gentle knock had the door, "Hiei?" It was Kurama.

"Go away!" I demanded, then I rolled over in my bed. My feelings were still hurt after three days.

"Hiei please talk to me, I am really sorry." The kitsune said from the other side of the door.

"Liar." I stated. I didn't look at the door.

"But Hiei..."

"GO AWAY! Don't you think that you crushed my heart enough?"

He sighed and left, I would never forgive him.

**To Be Continued...**

**Hey srry it took me so long to update this story been busy. That's always my excuse but it's true.**


	8. Sweet Reality

**Get a Grip**  
Ch8: Sweet Reality

"Hiei! Hiei!" A voice called my name over and over, but I continued to ignore it.

"Hiei, come on, wake up man!" Another voice joined in.

"Wait, that's the detective." I opened my eyes and saw everything with blurry vision, there was a figure standing over me, my vision soon cleared, "Yusuke?"

"Thank God. Man Hiei, you nearly gave me a heart attack, dude." The detective sounded relieved.

"Is he awake?" A soft voice wondered.

She walked in with a bowl, towel, and a pitcher of water, "Yukina?" I was surprised.

"Yeah, his fever finally broke." Yusuke stated.

"What happened?" I sat up in the bed I was laying in.

"You got sick and came down with a fever; you've been out for days." Kurama walked in.

"All of it was a dream?" I wondered to myself.

Kurama sat on the side of the bed, "Yes Hiei, all of it was dream." He ran gentle fingers through my bangs, down my cheek.

Yukina hugged me; I smiled, "Thank God."

**Fin**

**Ha! How's that for a twist**


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